I’m usually a pretty cool customer…my employees and partners count on me to always be calm and reasonable in stressful situations, and I handle it all: negotiations, complaints, macro coordination. I gotta say though, this last month has been extremely stressful, and the cracks are definitely showing. In addition to running my 3 businesses, which is inherently stressful, I am in the middle of a major renovation project on one of my houses. Its actually a complete gut and rebuild. Additionally, major repairs were needed at the condo on a last minute basis, so I had to get the guys working on labor day weekend and all this week. On top of that, I have 2 separate friends that I promised that I would lend money to for real estate purchases about a year ago, and now suddenly they are both taking me up on my offer at the same time, during all this. Money is flowing out of my accounts and onto my credit cards unabated, and there is no end in sight. I’ve either spent or charged over 100k in the last 26 days. I’m a financial hemophiliac. I feel like a nursing sow, except there are way too many piglets, and I’m completely out of nipples.
The condo took me a little by surprise: Abby waxed so poetically about her small condo and how cozy it was, and when I finally saw the condition of it, I realized it could be just that, but only after we did massive work. The windows were 50 years old, and the heat just came through the windows and weather stripping. The sliding glass door was a wreck, there were no lights, no J boxes, no ceiling fans, and the paint was matronly. The carpet was very, very, very bad. All this work was done by my guys in 4 days. We aren’t done, but we are close and I have to hand it to my guys, they did a great job with what they had to work with.
Moving day was Thursday, and we did move a lot of things, but not without some problems. My wife had a massage scheduled for that day, so in the midst of working, I had to direct the movers minute by minute while making phone calls for work. I can’t correctly convey the appropriate level of freneticism that I created/endured that day, but all the Ritalin in the world wouldn’t have helped. In the midst of all this, lots of items fell through the cracks. I don’t have any socks, shorts, underwear, belts and numerous other items in my dresser because I forgot to pack them. That dresser was wrapped up, shrink wrapped and buried in the bowels of the storage space, presumably never to be seen again. Rocco’s Nintendo Switch went missing, it's probably right by my belt.
This move has brought out some interesting thoughts in me. Cleaning out my dad’s stuff killed me, I felt like a horrible son throwing away 6 of his shirts(I kept one). Watching my wife empty her desk was unbelievably frustrating, as I saw her try to rationalize keeping a spare button that belonged to a shirt I threw away 2 months ago. I think we argued for 10 minutes about throwing away a 11 year old camcorder that doesn’t even work. I tried to show her that her I-PHONE has the same capability, but I lost that battle. We are definitely keeping the camcorder, and apparently we are going to start our own museum for useless technology! It’s even going to have a separate wing devoted to our 33 power cords that we have no idea where to put, but won’t throw away. Let's make an impressionist collage of her expired gift cards that she has been hoarding for emergency! I'm joking, but in actuality, I'm done. I want to scoop up all her (mostly) useless crap and throw it in the garbage. Scorched earth. Carthaginian Destruction. Burn it all. I no longer care about reprisals. If this is how I end, so be it...... Make it quick!
All I can say is that this whole move is an indictment of our consumerist lifestyle. I am mad at my wife for keeping useless crap she hasn’t used in 10 years, meanwhile I’m donating things I bought on Amazon 8 months ago, and that makes me, Mr. Hypocrite, sick and angry. We don’t own this stuff, it owns us. It's raping us. How did I get here? Where did I go wrong? How did I get so much stuff? Is this my enduring legacy, that of a consumer? Is this going in my obituary: “Mark Reinoso drank a lot of wine, and bought a ton of useless crap on the internet. He is survived by his family, and his best friend, Amazon.com?”
I’m fuming. I’m angry, frustrated and hurting in all the weirdest ways. The slightest trigger pushes me to what my wife calls "my angry face". This move has given me emotions I never knew I had. This is a turning point for me, there has to be a monumental shift in my thinking. This isn’t a gentle cleanse, this isn't a serendipitous salad you just throw together on a Saturday afternoon with a glass of wine. No, this is a battle of epic proportions. This is an exorcism, and these demons are being cast out! I just hope they don’t kill the host in the process…..