Worries and Concerns
I don’t really consider myself a worrywart, but I will admit that I have some of those tendencies. I like thinking things through and trying to anticipate issues as best I can. It’s a little exhausting at times, almost like playing mental chess. I don’t really even realize I’m doing it most of the time, so I don’t consider it to be a big deal.
It becomes an irritant usually only when I’m packing for a trip or something that will put me out of my comfort zone, so you can imagine what I've been going through. I will agonize over packing the perfect amount of clothes, deciding what will match up with multiple things to maximize the use of the least amount of items. I have to do this for me and the kids, since I don’t trust them to pack for themselves yet. That would be a recipe for disaster, and I’m certain we would end up with packs of M & M’s and fruit snacks, but no underwear or toothbrushes. I’ve gotten fairly good at packing for our trips, and my goal is always for each person to have one carry on bag. For the most part, we do a great job at ‘keeping it light’ on trips....Not so much this trip.
It’s different this time around. We are going to be in and out of various climates throughout this year. Having everything accessible is turning into a planning nightmare. I had to stage the condo with clothes for now and later in the early winter. It’s quite a temperature swing here in Arizona. Currently it’s 110 degrees, and we could probably get by with just a bathing suit, but come December it will drop into a positively frigid 40-50 degree range in the evenings. I joke about the cold since I know I’m a Pansy when it comes to cold weather, but it falls into one of my “Phobic” areas.
Phobic truly is too strong a word, but it gets the point across, that the subject is something I worry about. There are three “phobic” areas that I joke I have: 1). Snakes 2). Freezing 3). Running out of food. This impacts me in more ways than you may think. My husband always jokes that I pack enough food for a small army anytime we go camping. If we are going somewhere cold, I pack enough clothes to layer my kids into warm little burritos that can barely roll around. (This probably stems from the fact that personally I have a tendency towards being anemic, which I’m told contributes to me always being cold. For me, living in Arizona is a coincidence of life that has worked out well.) I can’t even talk about snakes. So, coordinating packing has been a concern. Organizing items for the Condo fell under that umbrella, but extended into deciding which furniture was going to fit in the Condo and what wouldn't. Getting the kids school lined up was a worry, but that has now transitioned into worrying about implementation.
An unexpected worry has been this blog. I didn’t plan on this, but my husband really wanted to do it and he has been harassing me to write. I don’t consider myself a writer, other than a short stint during a particularly angsty teenage year, and so it has made me a little insecure. I worry about my run on sentences and dangling participles. I worry about opening up our lives to people. I’m very protective of my family and our choices. I reserve the right to change my mind based on what is going to be best for us and quite frankly don’t want anyone else’s opinions getting in the way. I definitely don’t need criticism, and it seems like people all too easily think they have to tell you what to do or how to do it. There’s a fine line between being helpful and just being a jerk. I can be a jerk too at times I suppose, but I really try to keep my nose out of other people’s business. Writing a blog seems like we may be inviting people to do that, and so I worry about that too. I also worry that the blog will give people the wrong impression about me, my husband, and just us in general. As my husband likes to say, all of us are a mixed bag, but I like to think the majority of "us" is better than good.
There were and are other logistical worries, like planning the laundry to minimize dirty clothes being moved, and planning meals to use up what was in the fridge….and then there is my work, or hobby as my husband calls it. That involves a lot more emotion, so I think that topic falls under a different category, but suffice to say it’s a worry.
By and large, most of the worries are minor, and I know within a few weeks the bulk of these will be a thing of the past and we will be a whole new set to contend with. I’m thankful that I don’t have any huge fears regarding all of this change. I’m confident in us as a family, my husband and also our family and friends. Even if everything goes terribly awry, we have so much support that there is no need to be overly worried.